After years of heated discussion between The Spectator’s staff, the long-standing argument has finally come to an end. What is that argument? Which Thanksgiving food is the best. From previous Editor-in-Chiefs Lilly Drury ‘20 to Nick Alluto ‘21, this argument has destroyed friendships. However, after years and years of consideration, the list is finally complete and more accurate than ever. It goes as follows: 

10. Sweet potato casserole (previously ranked #4). Is there even an explanation required for this one? Bland, boring, and basic are the three words we would use to describe this dish. An off-putting color and texture rank this grotesque food dead last on this list.

9. Stuffing (previously ranked #2). The contents of stuffing are still vastly unknown: some sort of breading, miscellaneous meats, and questionable amounts of dairy. The splotchy brown coloring and unsettling smell repel festive individuals from Thanksgiving feasts. 

8. Turkey (not previously ranked). The most unappetizing of all meats, turkey is, without a doubt one of the most underwhelming aspects of Thanksgiving. If anything, while eating turkey, the feeling of thanks is last on one’s mind as they try to chew through the tough, yet undercooked meat. It is dreary and bleak and does not deserve to be such a widely considered “staple” in American Thanksgiving.  

7. Green bean casserole (previously ranked #3). Ranked slightly better than sweet potato casserole but still poor overall comes the revolting green bean casserole. It is slightly more colorful than its competitor casserole, however still lacks composure as a dish. This dish resembles that at the end of a Food Network cooking show—thrown together in the final 30 seconds.

6. Pumpkin pie (not previously ranked). Pumpkin pie is a good mix of sweet taste alongside pretty color, providing a much needed balance from the sheer amount of sodium and salt consumed otherwise. Its flavor profile is nothing too extraordinary and, frankly, the dish just seems a little out of the ordinary. 

5. Roasted vegetables (previously ranked #6). For many vegans, this dish offers a variety of food alongside flavor profiles. The way that the elements blend together into one cohesive dish is astonishing; however, the flavors still act on their own. You are able to distinguish the green beans from the brussel sprouts and broccoli. Overall, roasted vegetables are just a solid dish. 

4. Mac and cheese (previously ranked #5). Besides the long-standing argument over whether to eat this dish with a fork or a spoon (the correct answer being a fork), mac and cheese is a staple amongst Thanksgiving dinners. It is a decent dish for what it is, nothing spectacular or mind-boggling but, that being said, nothing revolting either. If you say mac and cheese is your favorite dish, you will surely not be hated amongst the common population; however, you are not destined to gain many friends either. 

3. Asparagus (not previously ranked). One of the most versatile side dishes for any occasion, Asparagus was a food that needed to be ranked. Besides being previously neglected, Asparagus’ rich green color intertwined with flakes of decadent brown are not only aesthetically pleasing but also scrumptious tasting, satisfying both the visual and taste appeal of Thanksgiving celebrators. 

2. Mashed potatoes (previously ranked #7). A stellar dish in and of itself, mashed potatoes can satisfy most people on its own. However, paired with other Thanksgiving foods, the sophistication that smashed balls of starch bring truly transports the blast from the past—if you close your eyes, you might just be able to envision America in the early 1620s. 

1. Cranberry sauce (previously ranked #1). Cranberry sauce is the savior of Thanksgiving, the knight in shining armor to an otherwise flavorless holiday. The vibrant red and effervescent smell elevate festivities to an entire new level. The pure serotonin released from a meere bite of the dish is enough to bring a smile to even the grumpiest of people. 

Though we can only speak for ourselves, we know our ranking is the best The Spectator has ever seen. From two picky eaters with a deep disdain for Thanksgiving foods, what could go wrong?