Ranking Halloween candy

Rachel Johns, Managing Editor of News

The Halloween season always brings up the classic controversy: which halloween candy is the best? I decided to inquire into this timeless question, and I have detailed my personal beliefs down below. Now let’s get ranking!


21. Circus peanuts 

Do I even have to explain this ranking? If i wanted to eat vaguely banana-flavored cardboard i would just go to the recycling bin behind Whole Foods.


20. Crunch

Of all the chocolate candies, Crunch lands at the bottom of the list for its so-so flavor and lack of texture. The lack of texture is ironic, because the crunchy rice is the selling point of the candy bar.


19. Tootsie Rolls

A Chicago classic, they’re a respectable choice for any day other than Halloween. Where is the fun and excitement of Tootsie Rolls? Not to mention that if the evening is chilly, the Tootsie rolls will harden to the point of chipping your teeth.


18. Twizzlers

I don’t mind Twizzlers, but something about the singularly packed ones you get on Halloween taste off. It’s not bad, it’s just not my kind of Twizzler.


17. Candy corn

You either love candy corn or you hate it. For me, Once every twelve months I get an intense craving for it, have four pieces, and forget about it for the rest of the year.


16. Smarties

If I wanted to eat flavorless chalk, I’d just buy a $20 three pack of chalk from the student store. 


15. Milk duds

These are quite literally duds. They promise to be gooey caramel within rich chocolate, but are just rocks of caramel covered in subpar chocolate.


14. M&Ms

Now we’re finally getting somewhere good. M&Ms are a classic, but as AP Lang taught me sometimes classics can be a bit boring (Sorry Mrs. Foster). That being said, boring is not bad! I also prefer my M&Ms the way I prefer my required reading: smaller. Mini M&Ms are superior and add delightful extra crunch. 


13. Starbursts

These juicy squares are flavorful, but a well… a little bit square. That is to say that the flavors are pleasant, just a tad boring. Still, they earn the respectable ranking of lucky number 13.


12. Nerds

As a child I used to eat my nerds one at a time like a heathen just to savor the fruity tart flavors. My love for nerds has followed me from childhood to adolescence (fortunately my strange way of eating them has not).


11. Twix

Do you choose the left or the right? While this is often a politically charged question, when referring to Twix it’s a refreshingly inconsequential preference. Twix’s  crisp cookie pairs exceedingly well with soft caramel and fresh chocolate. 


10. Laffy Taffy

Laffy Taffy is a long time favorite of mine. My personal favorite flavor is green apple, but strawberry and blue raspberry are also divine choices. 


9. Almond Joy

Almond Joy tastes like a retirement home in Florida, but I mean that in the best way possible.


8. Skittles

Skittles are beloved by the young and old alike. Their classic fruit flavors are sure to please any consumers. Sour Skittles elicit even more praise for masterfully marrying sour and sweet flavors into a palatable experience. 


7. Three Musketeers

Three cheers for the three musketeers! The paradoxically fluffy and rich nougat center is the hallmark of this classic candy candy bar.


6. Snickers

It would be laughable and ludicrous to not include Snickers somewhere in the top ten. While peanuts are not my taste, they add a layer of texture to the candy bar that can’t quite be paralleled.


5. Milky Ways

I would search the galaxy to find these candy bars if they suddenly disappeared off the face of the earth. They add delectable caramel to the perfect concoction of Three Musketeers, somehow elevating an already heavenly sweet.


4. Sour Patch Kids 

I’ve always had a penchant for sour sweets, so it’s not surprising that sour patch kids are among the top of the list. Unfortunately for Sour Patch Kids, my love for chocolate eclipses their top tier taste.


3. Caramel Apples Pops

These caramel coated lollipops are a rare delight. My night instantly improves the moment I encounter one. As you progress on this confectionary cruise, the sweet caramel gives way to a tart green apple center. 


2. Kit Kat

Kit Kats are extremely popular around the globe, but they are particularly beloved in Japan. This is because Kit Kat sounds similar to words that mean “Good Luck” in Japanese. So getting a Kit Kat in your bag for halloween is a wonderful sign of good fortune for yourself and your tastebuds.


1. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups are the king of halloween candy. After all, the peanut butter cups are shaped like a crown. The light salty peanut butter complements the rich chocolate that coats it. Bonus points for Reese’s in funky shapes like pumpkins and bats.